Looking Up and Looking Forward

One of the bittersweet aspects to the transparency of my blog, is that I share all of the news, whether it is a celebration or sadness. It is the reality of the fertility world. Whether you are taking Clomid, undergoing IUI, IVF, or Surrogacy, there are many ups and downs. But to be on the other side and have that empathetic understanding for someone else is truly a gift. Because nobody will understand their situation quite like you do.

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Yesterday was the beta blood test to check the level of HCG. This is the most accurate way to test if the embryo has resulted in a pregnancy. I went in for the blood draw just before 9 am. We received our phone calls (Amy & Al first, then me) from the nurse at TFC around 2:15 pm. Unfortunately the transfer was not a success and I was to stop all hormones immediately, once again.

I had been expecting bad news, probably because it is easier to expect the worst but hope for the best, so I was able to make it through the phone call just fine. But even when you are mentally prepared to receive bad news, you don’t know what your emotional response will be. I wept.

Over the past several months I have grown to love Amy and Al like family. I have prayed so hard over them and that the Lord would allow me to help them achieve parenthood. We’ve all been praying hard! One of the things we don’t know though is God’s timeline. So, we continue to have faith (looking up) and perseverance (looking forward).

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We are continuing to work as a team and a close-knit support system for each other  while moving forward to the next check list so that we can try again. There isn’t an official timeline yet, but it will most likely be about two months until we are able to try a transfer again.

In the meantime, I am focusing on health and fitness for the next month or so to fight off a few of the hormone induced pounds. And just to tend to my body. You can’t grow a beautiful garden if the soil isn’t happy, healthy, and fertile.

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